Agar Moqa Mila

Girl: Agar moqa mila to tum mujh se shadi karo ge...??
Boy: Agar moqa mil gaya to phir shadi kerne ki kiya zaroorat hai.

America Ja Rhi Ho

Wife: Me America ja rahi hoon apke liye kya lau
Husband: Aik American Ladki
Wife Wapas Aye
Husband: mera gift!
Wife: 9 mahine intizaar karo.

Girl Without Clothes

How does a cricket commentator explain a girl without clothes? No cover , No extra cover , silly points , 2 fine legs. A deep gali & some little.

Aage Piche Se

Aaj Kal Ki Ladkiya Bahut Romantic Ho Gai Hain
Photocopy Ki Dukan Pe Jati Hai or Bolti Hai
‘Bhaiya Jaldi Jaldi…
Aage Piche Se DO DO Baar Kar Do’.

New Couple in Train

New couple train se jate huwe surang se guzre
HUSBAND: agar pata hota surang itni lambhi hai to koi faida utha leta.
WIFE: haye Allah
To kya wo aap nahin thy.

Pani Wala Daba

Bus Driver:
Kuri Ne Tenu Thapr Kiyoon Marya?
Conductor:
Pani Wala Daba Kuri Di Seat Thalay C Mein Keya Bibi Zra Lattaan Chuk Mein Apna Pani Kdna Ay!

Buri Aur Badtareen

Buri aur Bdtareen Situation..
Buri: Jab aap kay Bachoon ko aap ka used Condom Mil jaiay..
Bdtareen: jb woh aap say Zidd karnay Lagian kay issay Phulla kay do.

What is Recycling

What is Recycling?
A Sheikh used Condom.
Then give it to his SON to use it as BALLON.
and
After Bursting give it to his Daughter to use it as HairBand.

Zero Meter Dulhan

1968
Dulha Jahez Mein Tv Mangta Tha
1978
Motor Cycle
1988
Plot
1998
Ac N Car
2009
Dulha Jahez Mein
Zero Meter Dulhan Mangta Hai

Girls Hostel Mei

girls hostel me phone aya: rekha hai kya?”
warden ne pooncha aage kya lagati hai,
jawaab aaya abhi to pata nahi pehle stayfree lagati thi.

Chal Bhag

beta: papa condom kya hota hai?
papa: chal bhag mujhe nahi pata.
beta: tabhi to hum 7 bhai-bahen hain!

Reliance Girl Ki Bra

ek reliance girl ki bra par likha tha
“karlo duniya mutthi mein”
to uske panty per kya likha hoga
“lifetime incoming free”

Peeche Pade Rehte Ho

miya aur bibi me bhayank jhagda ho gaya. miya gusse se tilmilata hua chillaya
gaa*d maar doonga!!!
bibi boli: age ki to sochte nahi, bus peeche pade rehte ho..

Gandhi and Mallika

similarity between gandhi & mallika !
dono ne kapde tyag diye. ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne deshwasion ke liye. aaisi
azaadi aur kahan?

Reaction of Girls

the reaction of girls after exams & after sex is the same :-
1) kitna lamba tha, kaash thoda time aur mil jata
2) pehle kitna darr lag raha tha, baad mein pata hi nahi laga
jab ho gya to :-
3) mere to chhoot gya tha
4) teen ghante muje to saans hi nahi aayee
5) aaage ka to theek tha peeche ka kitna mushkil tha.

Sex Maza Ya Mehnat

rich man 2 poor man: arey ye to batao sex maza hai ya mehnat?
poor man: sahab maza hi hoga mehnat hoti to ye bhi aap humse karwate.

Sex Bar Bar

matrinonial ad: wanted a girl, age no bar, height no bar, looks no bar, colour
no bar, caste no bar, money no bar, but sex bar bar bar bar…

Bahu Boli Pranam

bahu, saas ki tange daba rahi thi, lehnga ooncha ho gaya,
bahu boli, pranam!
saas boli kisko?
bahu boli, sasur ki ranbhumi aur inki janambhumi ko..

Meri Bra Utaro

Wife-meri bra utaro
Husband-ye le
Wife-ab panty bhi utaro
Husband-ye bhi le
Wife- “khabardar agar aage se mere undrgrmnts pehne.

Malkin Aur Nauker

Malkin or nauker kidnap hue, or dono ka R A P E hua.
Police: tumne unka chehra dekha tha?
Nauker: malkin se pucho, mujhe to ULTA kiya tha.

Ladki Pehli Dafa

Girl:wo kia hai jo lrki pehli dafa krwate hue pain ki waja se roti hai?
Pappu:kaan mai ched
MORAL:aap b apni soch pappu ki tarah saf rakho.

Husband on Suhagrat

Husband on suhaagrat-Teri aankho mein doob jaaun, Teri zulfon mein kho jaaun, Tere jhumko pe jhool jaaun..
Wife- Neech bhi jao ge, ya kisi aur ko bulaon.

Jad Aapji Da

Jad aapji da janam hoya
te tusi nange si
te cheekan maar rahe si,
te hun jad tusi nange hunde ho
te koi hor cheekan marda hai.
Sab time-time di gal hai!

Chalo Ab Dikhao

Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao...

Arey Itna Bara

Girl : Arey itna bara munh mein kaise daloon gi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geelay ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gool Gapey tum he kahoo.

His Girl Friend

Fraz Sahab 2 his girl friend:-
Tina.....! Aao khelein gay..
...
Nai Fraz ap Hamari le len gay.

Yehi to Pyar ki kasoti hy.
Nai mri bohat hi choti hy.
Dekh tre liye is dil me kitna pyar bhara hy.
Nai mujhe pata hy apka kitna BARA hy.
Dekh ye tra HUSN aur nikhar dega.
Ji nai Fraz ye meri PHAR dega...

Parday Lagwa Lega

Old Wife: bathroom k parde lagwa do
Husband: Q ?
Wife:Naya parosi dekhne ki koshish karta hai
Husband:1 bar dekh lene do phir wo khud parday lagwa lega..

Uff Kya Kar Rahe

Uff Kya Kar Rahe Ho??
Aisa Mat Karo...
Please Mat Karo...
Aisa Nahi......
Mat Dabao....
Neeche Kyun Jaa Rahe Ho??
Ho Jayega.....
Kaha Tha Mat Karo...
Ho Gaya Na....
Message Khatm!!!

Please Mat karo

Uff Kya Kar Rahe Ho??
Aisa Mat Karo...
Please Mat Karo...
Aisa Nahi......
Mat Dabao....
Neeche Kyun Jaa Rahe Ho??
Ho Jayega.....
Kaha Tha Mat Karo...
Ho Gaya Na....
Message Khatm!!!

Please Mat karo

Uff Kya Kar Rahe Ho??
Aisa Mat Karo...
Please Mat Karo...
Aisa Nahi......
Mat Dabao....
Neeche Kyun Jaa Rahe Ho??
Ho Jayega.....
Kaha Tha Mat Karo...
Ho Gaya Na....
Message Khatm!!!

Keep Your Character Good

Professor: To Keep Your Character Good
You Should Think All Woman As Your Mother
Students: But Thinking All Women As My Mother
Will Make My Father"s Character Bad.

My Left Leg

Girl: My Left Leg Is Lunch
And My Right Leg Is Dinner
What Would You Like To Have?
Boyfriend: I Would Like To Have Snacks
Between Lunch And Dinner.

A College Girl

A College Girl Was In Jeans Pant
And Zip Was Open.
Boy Went And Told
"Miss Please Close The Door Of
Your Taj Mahal....
Here My Qutub Minar Is Dancing"

A Guy Picked Up

A Guy Picked Up For A Date।
Guy: Why Are You Wearing Your Belt Around Your Knee?
Girl: I Promised My Mother
That I Wouldn’t Let You Touch Me Below My Belt।

Who Did It

A Contest In A Girls College:
Write A Short Essay Which Contains
Sex, Religion And Mystery.
The Winners Essyy Was-
"Oh God! I Am Pregnant
And I Wonder Who Did It"

The Best Vehicle

Girl Is The Best Vehicle In The World
Front Two Bumpers,
Back Two Bumpers,
Self Lubricant When Hot,
Finger Touch Ignition,
Monthly Automatic Engine Oil Change,
Every Type Of Piston Fits,
Highest Mileage Of Nine Months
In Just Two ml Fuel.

On My Bed SMS

I Wish You Were Here
In My Room
On My Bed
With The Lights Off
Under The Blanket
And I Will Show You My....
New Watch! It Glows In The Dark.

A Girl Danced SMS

A Girl Danced On The Stage
Everybody Clapped
She Stripped Off Her Clothes
Nobody Clapped...
Why???
Because Both Hands Are required for Clapping!

A Girl Friend SMS

What Is The Difference Between
A GIRL FRIEND And MOTOR BIKE
MOTORBIKE is First
Kicked And Then Used,
While A GIRLFRIEND Is
First Used And Then Kicked.

Responses During Sex

Responces During/After Sex
Girl friend: Oh Darling! It Was So Nice!
Call Girl: Chal Fatafat Nipat!
Padosan: Aate Rehna...!
Wife: Tell Me What is Tomorrow"s Lunch Menu?

Good Sex SMS

Good SEX is My favourite,
I Do It Regularly...
Do It And Feel Good..
You Will Enjoy It...
I Will Die Without It...
So S-Sleep, E-Eat, X- Xcercise
So Do Sex Regularly...
you Dirty Mind

A Sexy Woman

A Sexy Woman Is Like A Dirty 1000 Rupee Note,
You Don not Know How Many Have Handled It
But You Still Want To Have It.

Susu Place

In a party a lady wanted to go to the toilet badly.
So she approached the host SARDAR and asked,
Lady:
"Where is your SUSU place, Please show me."
SARDAR:
winked at the lady and said.
"Yea, naughty girl,
First you show me your SUSU place
and
then I will show you mine."

Mera Kuch Kuch

I Punjaban drya par nehaane gayi
Uska kutta b Sarh tha jis ka Naam tha
“Kuch Kuch”
Nehaaty wqt kutta us ke kapre laikar
Bhaq gaya.
Wo nangi us k piche bhagne lagi.
Raste mein use ek PATHAN mila.
Wo us se boli
KHAN SAHIB aap ne mera
“kuch kuch” dekha hai.
PATHAN bola wai Qurban hum ne to
Tumhara sab kuch dekha hai.

Why Are Breasts

Q: Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman"s body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy?

Tootl Extraction

A Woman Goes 2 A Dentist 4 Tooth Extraction:
.
Doc Tells Her 2 Lie Down And Gets Ready With Tools.
.
Lady Lifts Her Skirt:
Doctor: I am Not A Gynacologist, I am Dentist.
.
She Says: I Want To Get My Hubbys Tooth Removed.

Sardarji Manual Virus

Dear Receiver
I am Sardarji virus. Since I am not so Technologically advanced, I am a MANUAL virus.
Please delete all the Files on your hard disk yourself and send this E-mail to everyone you know.
Thank you very much for helping me.
Sardarji virus.

Sex Ke Doraan

Sex k doraan biwi ko shak huwa k bacha jaag raha hay
Biwi ne bola to shohar ne bache ko doosre kamre mein lita diya

Faarigh honay k baad shohar bache ko uthaane gaya to dekha k bacha Mutth mar raha hay
Shohar: Oye ye kya ho raha hay?
Bacha bola: apni jan pe khel raha hoon kisi ki Maa nahi chod raha...

Dono Nangi Hon

Bijlee ki taar aur larki mei kya similarity hai..?
Guess.."
Still not sure..?
Oh come on yaar!
Simple!
"Dono nangi hon to Jaan nikaal deti hain!

Mera Dudh Nai Anda

Sardar: apni Sali se, Pain Teri Masroof hai, Zara Kakey Noo Dudh Piya day.
Sali: Sorry Jeju Mera Dudh Nai Anda.
Sardar:"Acha. Show Sha Tay Bari ey"

What is Night Rate

Chemistry ki class mein sir ne ek larki se poocha..
What is Nitrate?
.
Larki sharmakar boli
.
.
Sir,night rate 3500/- & Hotel charges alag se.

Chabi Wala Teeka

Aurat Doctor se: Mujhe chabi wala teeka laga dain
.
Doctor: Ap k kitnay bachay hain
.
Aurat: MASHALLAH mere 11 bachay hain
Doctor: Phir to Taala he lagwa lain..

Shadi Ke Bad

Husband.
shadi k baad zindagi kutty jesi ho gae he.
Wife:
kutty se kya muqabla krtey ho.
Wo to 1 ghanta phansa k rakhta hy
tumari to 2mint me Ga*d phat jati hy

Roj Roj Palak Ki Sabzi

Husband: Roj Roj Palak Ki Sabzi Khilati Ho
Mai Tang Aa Gaya Hun.
Wife: Palak Me Iron Hota Hai Ji.
Husband: To Kya Meri G**D Se
TMT Sariya Nikalwaogi?

I Have Been Raped

A call girl goes to bank
To deposit 1000/- Rs. note
Teller said: Its fake note
Call Girl: Oh god I have been raped.

A Frantic Virgin

A plane was about to crash!
A frantic virgin strips off and says
"can anyone make me feel like woman
Before I die?
So a man takes off his clothes and said
"Iron This"

Kis Ne Choda

Muj se
.
.
Pehle
.
.
.
apKo
.
.
.
Kis Kis
.
.
.
.
.
ne
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
choda
.
.
.
.
August
Ki
MubaraKbad
di:?

Aadmi Aur Aurat

Q: What is Differance between Aadami & Aurat?
A: Aurat ek hi Aadami se Bahut sari Ummeed karti hai.
Aur Aadami Bahut Saari Aurato se ek he Ummeed karta hai.

Thank GOD

Positive Thinking Poem:
Little bird in the sky,
Dropping potty in the eye,
u don't worry,
u don't cry,
u just thank god,
That COW's don't fly.

Jab Mai Mar Jaun

Santa: Jab mai mar jaun to
samne wali family ko zaroor bulana.
Banta: Kyun???
Santa: Yaar unke ghar ki ladies
murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain.

Dekha To Pathan

Dur Se Dekha To Pathan
Nangga Khara Tha.......
.
.
.
or
.
.
or
.
.
Or Kya?
Pass Jane Ka Sawal Hi
Paida Nahi Hota.........

Make it a Bestseller

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl...!

Delivery Dene Main

Dunia me
POSTMEN to hain
.
Lekin POSTWOMEN nahi
Q?
Sochain
?
.
?
Or sochain
Nahi pata
.
.
.
Q k auratain 1 delivery dene main hi 9 maheenay Laga
Deti hain.

Password is Too Short

Wife computer pe kam karte hue apna PassWord batao?
.
Husband:
MY LUN
.
Wife hans hans k chair se gir gæi kyun k computer said:
.
"Your PassWord is Tooo Short"

Koi Larka Girls Section-Adult SMS Jokes SMS

PRINCIPAL:
Agar koi larrka girlz section gaya to 1st time Rs.100 fine hoga or 2nd time 200 & 3rd time 500 hoga.
.
.
.
.
STUDENT;Sir Monthly pakage kya hai

Slogans To Promote Condoms

Slogans to promote Condoms
.
You cant go wrong, if u shield your Dong.
She wont get sick, if u wrap your Dick.
If u go into heat, cover your Meat.
Dont be a fool, Vulcanize your Tool.
Wrap it in foil, before releasing your oil.

Anti Misba Sitting-English Adult SMS Jokes SMS

Fakeer(Begger) to Anti Misba sitting on a bench in a park
"Hi Darling! So u r in the mood to hv fun with me"
.
Anti Misba
"How dare u"
.
Begger:
"Thn what r u doing on my bed?"

Dulhan Ne Ubtan Na Lagaya

Dulhan Ne Ubtan Na Lagaya To DADI Boli
“Beti Ubtan Lagale Wrna NOOR Nhi Charhega”
.
.
Suhag Raat K Bad Dulhan Dadi Se Boli NOOR To Aesa
Charha Ke Subha Hi Utra

Dekhiya Meri Speedan - Sardar SMS Jokes

Sardar ne car speed sey chlaty hoye biwi sey kaha:
Dekhya meri speedaan.
.
Achank car band ho gai:
Or uski biwi hansney lagi.
.
Sardar: Oye tu hans kiyon rhi aye?
Sardarni: Menu raat da wela yaad ah giya.

Tera Bhai Ka Nam Bhi Aya

Jangle men shair ki bivi k sath kisi ne rape kia..
.
Shair ne sab jungle walo ko muqadmy k lie bulaya..
.
Sab se peechy 1 chooha b araha tha
Donkey ne poocha tum kidr ja rhy ho?
.
Choohay ne moncho pa hath pher kr kaha..
.
Tera bhai ka nam bhi aya hai..

Apni Shirt K Oper

Nurse:"Sir 22 no bed waley patient ka 4 dafa BP check kiya,
hr dafa barh jata hai
Doctor:"Ab check kro to apni Shirt k uper k 3 button bnd kr lena

Begam Dekho Aaj

Aadmi Apni Biwi Se:
Begam Dekho Aaj Main Tumhare Liye Kelay, Kheeray,
Gaajar Aur Mooli Le Kr Aaya Hoon...
Biwi: Kyun, Aap Kahin jaarhay hain kya?

Suhaagrat Ke Baad

SHOHAR suhag rat k baad apni BV se: jaan raat ko kuch maza aya?
BV =aap ko aaya?
SHOHAR= bohat!
BV= dekh lain aaj tak kisi ko shikayat ka moqa nahi dia.

Maal Ko Taaza Kar

1 SabZi wale ki shadi hui. Suhag rat ko biwi ka underwear neechey kr k paani chirakne laga biwi: yeh kya kr rahe ho? Wo bola jani maal ko taaza Kar raha hoon..

Oye Tera Naam Yar

Batao wo kya chez ha jo hy to tmhari
Lekin
Hmesha dosre lete hain?
.
.
.
?
.
.
.
Oye Tera
Naam Yar!
.
.
.
Tu Ga*d smja tha na
.
Chal koi bat nhi tera jwab b thek hy.

Thats Cheating - Flirt / Adult Hindi Jokes SMS

Cream k Add main face dikhaya.
Soap k Add main Hath Dikhaya.
Shampoo Ke Add main Baal Dikhaye.
Per Always ke Add main kuch nahi dikhaya.
Thats Cheating

Aap Sex Kyon Nahi Karty SMS

Biwi: Suno ji, Ek Hafta hogaya, aap sex kyon nahi kartey?
.
Husband: Darling! Tumhari Behen ki shadi hai na?
.
Biwi: Han to?
.
Husband: Usay Practice karwa raha hon.

After Her Honeymoon SMS

A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,
.
When her friends asked her what happened?
.
She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
.
“I thought It was MONEY”

Aap to Thekedaar Hein

Thekedaar Ka Beta:
papa Mujhe 1 Bhai or Chahiye AaJ Aur Abi
Papa:
Beta is Kaam mein 9 Mahenay Lagte hain
BETA
papa Aap to THEKEDAAR hain 7,8 Admi Laga dein''

Tum Bahot Badtamez Ho SMS

Teacher 2 chiLd! Tum bohat badtamez ho gaye ho batao kya saza dun tumhen?? Child: Wo larki jo 2nd last seat pe bathi hai us K Sath bathroom mai band kar dain.

Koi Aisi Gali - Sardar Adult SMS Jokes

Sardar apne dost se: Yar tu ney koi aisi gaali suni hai jo dekhi bhi ho.
.
Dost: Han teri behan Di
ph-di

Towards The Sacred Mosque - English Ramadan SMS

“… turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque;
and wherever you are, turn your faces towards it… ”
The Holy Koran [ 2:150 ]
.
Wishing you all the blessings from Allah
and praying for a blessed Ramadan !

Ramzan In Details Sms

Ramzan in details
.
R-Roza Rakho
A-Allah se daro
M-Masjid ko jao
Z-Zakat banto
A-A’maal ache karo
N-Namaz parho
.
Aus is banday ko dua main yaad rakho