A Sexy Woman

A Sexy Woman Is Like A Dirty 1000 Rupee Note,
You Don not Know How Many Have Handled It
But You Still Want To Have It.

Susu Place

In a party a lady wanted to go to the toilet badly.
So she approached the host SARDAR and asked,
Lady:
"Where is your SUSU place, Please show me."
SARDAR:
winked at the lady and said.
"Yea, naughty girl,
First you show me your SUSU place
and
then I will show you mine."

Mera Kuch Kuch

I Punjaban drya par nehaane gayi
Uska kutta b Sarh tha jis ka Naam tha
“Kuch Kuch”
Nehaaty wqt kutta us ke kapre laikar
Bhaq gaya.
Wo nangi us k piche bhagne lagi.
Raste mein use ek PATHAN mila.
Wo us se boli
KHAN SAHIB aap ne mera
“kuch kuch” dekha hai.
PATHAN bola wai Qurban hum ne to
Tumhara sab kuch dekha hai.

Why Are Breasts

Q: Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman"s body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy?

Tootl Extraction

A Woman Goes 2 A Dentist 4 Tooth Extraction:
.
Doc Tells Her 2 Lie Down And Gets Ready With Tools.
.
Lady Lifts Her Skirt:
Doctor: I am Not A Gynacologist, I am Dentist.
.
She Says: I Want To Get My Hubbys Tooth Removed.

Sardarji Manual Virus

Dear Receiver
I am Sardarji virus. Since I am not so Technologically advanced, I am a MANUAL virus.
Please delete all the Files on your hard disk yourself and send this E-mail to everyone you know.
Thank you very much for helping me.
Sardarji virus.

Sex Ke Doraan

Sex k doraan biwi ko shak huwa k bacha jaag raha hay
Biwi ne bola to shohar ne bache ko doosre kamre mein lita diya

Faarigh honay k baad shohar bache ko uthaane gaya to dekha k bacha Mutth mar raha hay
Shohar: Oye ye kya ho raha hay?
Bacha bola: apni jan pe khel raha hoon kisi ki Maa nahi chod raha...

Dono Nangi Hon

Bijlee ki taar aur larki mei kya similarity hai..?
Guess.."
Still not sure..?
Oh come on yaar!
Simple!
"Dono nangi hon to Jaan nikaal deti hain!

Mera Dudh Nai Anda

Sardar: apni Sali se, Pain Teri Masroof hai, Zara Kakey Noo Dudh Piya day.
Sali: Sorry Jeju Mera Dudh Nai Anda.
Sardar:"Acha. Show Sha Tay Bari ey"

What is Night Rate

Chemistry ki class mein sir ne ek larki se poocha..
What is Nitrate?
.
Larki sharmakar boli
.
.
Sir,night rate 3500/- & Hotel charges alag se.

Chabi Wala Teeka

Aurat Doctor se: Mujhe chabi wala teeka laga dain
.
Doctor: Ap k kitnay bachay hain
.
Aurat: MASHALLAH mere 11 bachay hain
Doctor: Phir to Taala he lagwa lain..

Shadi Ke Bad

Husband.
shadi k baad zindagi kutty jesi ho gae he.
Wife:
kutty se kya muqabla krtey ho.
Wo to 1 ghanta phansa k rakhta hy
tumari to 2mint me Ga*d phat jati hy

Roj Roj Palak Ki Sabzi

Husband: Roj Roj Palak Ki Sabzi Khilati Ho
Mai Tang Aa Gaya Hun.
Wife: Palak Me Iron Hota Hai Ji.
Husband: To Kya Meri G**D Se
TMT Sariya Nikalwaogi?

I Have Been Raped

A call girl goes to bank
To deposit 1000/- Rs. note
Teller said: Its fake note
Call Girl: Oh god I have been raped.

A Frantic Virgin

A plane was about to crash!
A frantic virgin strips off and says
"can anyone make me feel like woman
Before I die?
So a man takes off his clothes and said
"Iron This"

Kis Ne Choda

Muj se
.
.
Pehle
.
.
.
apKo
.
.
.
Kis Kis
.
.
.
.
.
ne
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
choda
.
.
.
.
August
Ki
MubaraKbad
di:?

Aadmi Aur Aurat

Q: What is Differance between Aadami & Aurat?
A: Aurat ek hi Aadami se Bahut sari Ummeed karti hai.
Aur Aadami Bahut Saari Aurato se ek he Ummeed karta hai.

Thank GOD

Positive Thinking Poem:
Little bird in the sky,
Dropping potty in the eye,
u don't worry,
u don't cry,
u just thank god,
That COW's don't fly.

Jab Mai Mar Jaun

Santa: Jab mai mar jaun to
samne wali family ko zaroor bulana.
Banta: Kyun???
Santa: Yaar unke ghar ki ladies
murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain.

Dekha To Pathan

Dur Se Dekha To Pathan
Nangga Khara Tha.......
.
.
.
or
.
.
or
.
.
Or Kya?
Pass Jane Ka Sawal Hi
Paida Nahi Hota.........

Make it a Bestseller

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl...!

Delivery Dene Main

Dunia me
POSTMEN to hain
.
Lekin POSTWOMEN nahi
Q?
Sochain
?
.
?
Or sochain
Nahi pata
.
.
.
Q k auratain 1 delivery dene main hi 9 maheenay Laga
Deti hain.

Password is Too Short

Wife computer pe kam karte hue apna PassWord batao?
.
Husband:
MY LUN
.
Wife hans hans k chair se gir gæi kyun k computer said:
.
"Your PassWord is Tooo Short"

Koi Larka Girls Section-Adult SMS Jokes SMS

PRINCIPAL:
Agar koi larrka girlz section gaya to 1st time Rs.100 fine hoga or 2nd time 200 & 3rd time 500 hoga.
.
.
.
.
STUDENT;Sir Monthly pakage kya hai

Slogans To Promote Condoms

Slogans to promote Condoms
.
You cant go wrong, if u shield your Dong.
She wont get sick, if u wrap your Dick.
If u go into heat, cover your Meat.
Dont be a fool, Vulcanize your Tool.
Wrap it in foil, before releasing your oil.

Anti Misba Sitting-English Adult SMS Jokes SMS

Fakeer(Begger) to Anti Misba sitting on a bench in a park
"Hi Darling! So u r in the mood to hv fun with me"
.
Anti Misba
"How dare u"
.
Begger:
"Thn what r u doing on my bed?"

Dulhan Ne Ubtan Na Lagaya

Dulhan Ne Ubtan Na Lagaya To DADI Boli
“Beti Ubtan Lagale Wrna NOOR Nhi Charhega”
.
.
Suhag Raat K Bad Dulhan Dadi Se Boli NOOR To Aesa
Charha Ke Subha Hi Utra

Dekhiya Meri Speedan - Sardar SMS Jokes

Sardar ne car speed sey chlaty hoye biwi sey kaha:
Dekhya meri speedaan.
.
Achank car band ho gai:
Or uski biwi hansney lagi.
.
Sardar: Oye tu hans kiyon rhi aye?
Sardarni: Menu raat da wela yaad ah giya.

Tera Bhai Ka Nam Bhi Aya

Jangle men shair ki bivi k sath kisi ne rape kia..
.
Shair ne sab jungle walo ko muqadmy k lie bulaya..
.
Sab se peechy 1 chooha b araha tha
Donkey ne poocha tum kidr ja rhy ho?
.
Choohay ne moncho pa hath pher kr kaha..
.
Tera bhai ka nam bhi aya hai..

Apni Shirt K Oper

Nurse:"Sir 22 no bed waley patient ka 4 dafa BP check kiya,
hr dafa barh jata hai
Doctor:"Ab check kro to apni Shirt k uper k 3 button bnd kr lena

Begam Dekho Aaj

Aadmi Apni Biwi Se:
Begam Dekho Aaj Main Tumhare Liye Kelay, Kheeray,
Gaajar Aur Mooli Le Kr Aaya Hoon...
Biwi: Kyun, Aap Kahin jaarhay hain kya?

Suhaagrat Ke Baad

SHOHAR suhag rat k baad apni BV se: jaan raat ko kuch maza aya?
BV =aap ko aaya?
SHOHAR= bohat!
BV= dekh lain aaj tak kisi ko shikayat ka moqa nahi dia.

Maal Ko Taaza Kar

1 SabZi wale ki shadi hui. Suhag rat ko biwi ka underwear neechey kr k paani chirakne laga biwi: yeh kya kr rahe ho? Wo bola jani maal ko taaza Kar raha hoon..

Oye Tera Naam Yar

Batao wo kya chez ha jo hy to tmhari
Lekin
Hmesha dosre lete hain?
.
.
.
?
.
.
.
Oye Tera
Naam Yar!
.
.
.
Tu Ga*d smja tha na
.
Chal koi bat nhi tera jwab b thek hy.

Thats Cheating - Flirt / Adult Hindi Jokes SMS

Cream k Add main face dikhaya.
Soap k Add main Hath Dikhaya.
Shampoo Ke Add main Baal Dikhaye.
Per Always ke Add main kuch nahi dikhaya.
Thats Cheating

Aap Sex Kyon Nahi Karty SMS

Biwi: Suno ji, Ek Hafta hogaya, aap sex kyon nahi kartey?
.
Husband: Darling! Tumhari Behen ki shadi hai na?
.
Biwi: Han to?
.
Husband: Usay Practice karwa raha hon.

After Her Honeymoon SMS

A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,
.
When her friends asked her what happened?
.
She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
.
“I thought It was MONEY”

Aap to Thekedaar Hein

Thekedaar Ka Beta:
papa Mujhe 1 Bhai or Chahiye AaJ Aur Abi
Papa:
Beta is Kaam mein 9 Mahenay Lagte hain
BETA
papa Aap to THEKEDAAR hain 7,8 Admi Laga dein''

Tum Bahot Badtamez Ho SMS

Teacher 2 chiLd! Tum bohat badtamez ho gaye ho batao kya saza dun tumhen?? Child: Wo larki jo 2nd last seat pe bathi hai us K Sath bathroom mai band kar dain.

Koi Aisi Gali - Sardar Adult SMS Jokes

Sardar apne dost se: Yar tu ney koi aisi gaali suni hai jo dekhi bhi ho.
.
Dost: Han teri behan Di
ph-di